So the other day a comment was made to me which totally shocked me!
"If I was you, I wouldn't have had any more after the last one!"
Now that doesn't seem to bad, but it was in reference to how sick I got last time and a beast called HyperEmesis has reared its very ugly head again.
Let me explain, with my son I was hardly sick at all! In fact I didnt think I was pregnant until my hubby suggested I might be. We were already almost out of the first trimester when we found out.
Ten months after he was born, I was pregnant with our Daughter and that was a totally different story. We rushed me to the Dr, because I had been sick with extreme food poisoning that wasn't going away. After tests and an ultrasound it was confirmed I was 3 1/2 weeks pregnant and had became sick the day of implantation. During that pregnancy I was put on the Zofran pump (a self administered subcutaneous regime of 24 hour medication) and even with that I was hospitalized 3 times, lost extreme amounts of weight, had a dozen visits to get IVs for dehydration and days on end at home on a portable IV. All so I could drink water and not be sick. This lasted until she was 2 weeks old. Now I must add she was born an extremely healthy 8lbs 9oz and I left the hospital weighing 30lbs less than when I got pregnant. (I do have the weight to lose, its not ideal in pregnancy though)
Now I am 19 weeks pregnant with another GIRL and guess what - HyperEmesis! Again discovered when I couldn't keep food down and my first ultrasound was blank because it was that early. Again I am on the Zofran pump, the difference is that after going through many different medications the last time, my Dr didn't wait till he started getting my approval through the insurance for the pump and so far, I have only had to have a couple of ER visits and no hospitalizations.
So here are some of the things I hear:
"Try a cracker, that helped me with morning sickness"
"Have you tried Ginger?"
"Everyone gets sick, its called Pregnancy"
So, here are my thoughts - I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE MORNING SICKNESS. Sorry its true, hyperemesis is where I throw up everything that goes into my body, a sip of water means running to vomit, food - forget it! Its not just at any specific time, its all day and all night. The thought of food makes you puke. (I know graphic, sorry) On the average day I was puking a minimum of 30 times a day. This pregnancy I was so sick I tore a muscle under my diaphragm as well as hurt my back to the point of needed chiropractic care and still going bi-weekly to keep it in check.
"Why do you put yourself through this?"
"If it was me, I wouldnt have anymore"
"You have one of each, why bother with more?"
Well, I'm not that person and I believe each child I get to carry is a blessing and even though its challenging my thoughts go to the fact that we will be given no challenge, save a way be given for us to succeed through it. (Nephi 3:7 "I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.") and it was our commandment to have children to raise them in the way of the Lord. (Gen 1:28), my husband and I are taking that to mean as many children as we are given although our magic number after much prayer is 8 and then we have decided that we would adopt after that point too should the option be presented to us.
I also know that there are women that would love to have this level of nausea should it mean that they were to carry and birth a healthy child and I love to remember them in my prayers as their pain and suffering is greater than mine.
Let me express one thing with the utter conviction of my heart and soul...its worth every pain, every sickness to have and hold that precious child. I have been told that this might not happen with each pregnancy, but it could and it could get worse and that's okay.
I'll take every minute of it.